On one of those days when I thought the hole just couldn’t get deeper, I opened my computer to find the screen dancing with psychedelic lines. Even my Macbook had reached burn out. The cost: $310 I didn’t even have. But this story has a surprising turn for the better.
A few days after turning the computer over to the repair shop, the Apple customer service team calls to inform me because my laptop was damaged in shipping they would cover the $310 expense, in full.
Since I had already designated that money to something in my mind, I decided the funds deserved a special purpose. So, I decided to use the money to complete 31 charitable deeds.
Here is the list:
1. Buy postage for a girl who needs to mail her hair to Locks of Love (in process).
2. Give a pedicure to someone whose job it is to give pedicures.
3. Bake a cake for a marine and hand deliver it to him with a video message from his mother (completed).
4. Give $15 to Unicef, which buys 226 packets of micronutrient powder and a soccer ball.
5. Get a One Direction CD signed for an eight year-old girl and gift it to her through Adopt-a-Family.
6. Buy flowers for someone.
7. Paint a school or a mural at a hospital or retouch graffiti.
8. Convince employees at the Santa Barbara Apple Store to perform a charitable deed with me.
9. Find out who fixed my computer at Apple, then buy that person a gift.
10. Do something special for an entire hospital wing of children.
11. Buy mall Santa a shoulder massage while he’s on his
I hate clowns. Their acts do not inspire me to smile. A kid might demand, “make me a bicycle clown!” whereas I’d demand, “make me understand where both of us went wrong?”
I take my animosity toward clowns as a shadow projection, a fear that I might actually become one. That’s the root of my pain: a feeling of not enough, which I am terrified will lead me to become a middle-aged chucklehead who hides behind vibrant face paint. To a certain degree, a friend said, everyday we experience either one or a combination of “the three Ts:” terror, tedium, and tiredness. It felt unifying to know I was not alone in the fear of not adding up to my own expectations, but where were the other people trying to do the math? How often do we actually let ourselves express out loud what we are afraid of?
Waves of not enough have flooded my life lately. You are not feminine enough. You are not responsible enough. You are not loving enough. You are not doing enough. Some of these words have come from other people. A lot of them have come from within myself. They hurt equally as bad, even if they are interpretations communicated by actions: rejection, abandonment, the phone calls I didn’t receive.
When I’ve reached this point of low before, I’ve experienced guilt in allowing myself to rise up out of it and experience its adverse: what some refer to as high vibration energy. The positivity I’d put on would feel like that clown mask I never wanted, covering up my self-loathing with a show. Now, I’ve
There’s been an odd trend among my friends lately: many of them are passing through some challenging times. Break ups. Change of career. Investigation of purpose. Grief. Physical pain.
When we go through the trying times, sure they are character forming, but they are also painful! I made this video because these three practices were helpful for me after I lost my dad. Sometimes the sadness was so profound, my chest and stomach would feel compressed. I wasn’t able to breathe properly, which made my grief worse. Sure, these exercises might be a bit strangzies, but give yourself permission to experiment with different tools that might help you feel good again. I have a friend who recites his problems out loud in a Kermit the Frog voice when things go South. So really, making crab claws and swaying your arms to regain circulation can’t be that intimidating, can it?
Happy Fourth of July everyone! Since it’s Independence Day, I thought I’d write a post about my home country.
I hear it all the time, “We’re going to the Grand Canyon, Vegas, and then Los Angeles.” Many first-time travelers to the United States follow the same circuits on the Western and Eastern sides of the country, trying to fit as many landmark stops into their itinerary as possible in a short time. But what if you’ve already been to these places?
On a trip to America, I always advise travelers to grant themselves plenty of time. This place is bigger than you think. When you return to visit, skip the landmarks and go where the locals like to explore.
If you’re a return visitor, pause a moment to take this quiz and find out how well you know the United States.
When you’re done, here some of my favorite places in America that need to be on you itinerary:
1. Swap Manhattan for Brooklyn
You may have already seen the Empire State Building, visited Times Square, and taken the train to Grand Central Station. What’s next? Venture to one of my favorite New York City boroughs: Brooklyn. In fact, Brooklyn covers far more land mass than Manhattan and covers some incredibly diverse neighborhoods for you to explore. Dive into Russian culture around Brighton Beach; find out what hipsters are actually like in Williamsburg; cafe hop in Park Slope to try your hand at spotting celebrities who live in the neighborhood.
2. Trade the Grand Canyon for Antelope Valley
While yes the famous
It began in Bali, in the white-walled office of a Cherokee mystic named White Star. Eyes closed, she thumped a leather drum painted with a wolf’s face and reported to me messages about my life from the beyond.
Spotting a raven in my future, she said it’s time for me to start focusing on my talent to heal others and thusly seek out teachers. “Omega Institute in New York would be a great place for you,” she said. Chills. I had heard of Omega just weeks before while researching the organization’s co-founder Elizabeth Lesser who wrote a book on post-traumatic growth. Hidden in the trees, I knew the location would be the ideal place for me to retreat to when New York City dwelling became as overwhelming as it often does. (more…)