One night, the blackened sky had no moon. The stars lost luminosity in cloud cover. The streets stood empty save the occasional car that raced with headlights blaring, illuminating the path in swipes. Through it, I kept walking, along the dark pavement, taking invisible steps forward banking on physical law that my feet would meet the ground. I knew where I was going even if I couldn’t see it. I was on my way home.
This is what love feels like to me.
It feels like faith.
It feels like fear.
It’s interlaced with melancholy.
It’s bound to elation.
Often, I feel it as both organic and uncertain. I choose to move through it from a place of inner knowing that this thing called love is within me because it is our most natural state of being. A friend of mine calls this claircognizance “upper case knowing,” where you know something with your whole body, resonating from your gut, not your head.
I have to admit, though, that even if I know something, it’s still hard toKNOW something. My most profound point of KNOWing lately has been self love. There’ve been some gurus telling me that in order to receive love “I just need to love myself more, man.”
When I hear this, admittedly I’m a bit like, “dude, who farted?”
I easily get cheesed out whenever someone makes the equation just + obscure term like just believe or just follow your bliss. These things to me are not justs, they’re Ikea furniture with lots of steps, parts, and instructions that only kind of make sense.
I do get, though, that self love is the origin of all other types of love, which is why it’s so important. It feels incredible when love becomes an overflow. But the toughie is, how the heck do you love yourself more other then being like “dude, I love you bro,” inside your own head?
Watch the video below for something I do to remind myself to love thy self. We could all use a reminder now and again.
<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ys6q_oSC3AI” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>